of high school. Everything happened.
American Gangster, the album, came
out the fall semester of my Sophomore
year. And this post is how the album
reflects my life. So shit might get a little
bit too real in this bitch. But then again
this is MY blog, right?
Notice the order of the songs.
It brings me back to English class with
its story diagram.
I never really paid much attention to the first three songs and I'm not going to just because I'm writing a blog about the album. I don't pray for success, I just go out and do shit. But I do pray. God and I have a unique relationship just like he does with the rest of his believers. I don't have an American dream, per say, because I dream to go out of this country, but I do have dreams of success.
Remember, at this point when this album dropped, I was in high school.
So I didn't really pray and have the dreams that I have today. And I was
taking pictures for MySpace like that <~ LOL. This album took OVER my MySpace.
Around this time I had just been introduced to the marijuana culture.
I thought it was beautiful how it brought people together.
noticed how beautiful I am every time I looked in the
Trying to describe why you smoke is always controversial, so I won't really go in too deep. But you can say that she changed my life around. I was more confident with myself and a lot wiser. A lot more angry too because I wasn't as gullible anymore.
American Gangster was the smoke to album. I'd be feeling like "Roc Boys", celebrating nothing but the good life with friends.
What I mean by the good life is, the freedom I had. The ability to drive around and explore these new places. How my ears would take in these beautiful sounds. How every time I looked up at my world, I just would smile. Smile really big. I was high literally &high naturally. I was on this nonstop celebration of LIFE! My nature, my studies, the people I surround myself with. Sort of like a Party Life.
At first smoking was a weekend thing. Then it turned into a here and there thing. Then it turned into a lifestyle. I would go out, smoke, come back home and my parents did not have a clue. They had me on a pedestal like the Queen that I thought I was.
Out of all the songs in this album, I would say that 'Fallin' hits home hard.
I got knocked off my pedestal. I fell flat on my face.
The Party Life is great &all but you have to be fucking careful. If you're going to do something that has consequences attached to it, you have to be prepared when shit hits the fan.
I got caught smoking by the police.
My parents were called.
It was horrible.
I lost all of their trust. They were SHOCKED. They did not expect that from me. Being that I was so good &obedient. (I was going to say 'doing everything I needed to do' but that means obedient :) vocabulary swag. My vocab sucks, so I impressed myself.)
They knew marijuana was near. But they thought I would be 'smart' enough to say no. But I don't think I'm dumb to say yes. It was dumb to get caught, especially trespassing at a beautiful park after hours. Of course the cops were going to come! SMH But that's the Party Life for you, you're blinded. You're careless. At least we were.
I told myself and my parents that I would never smoke again. It hurt to see my parents that sad over a sack.
My parents > Her
Two weeks later though.
Five years later.
After that incident, I have gotten caught a lot of
times. Tragic. But I still was able to graduate from
high school in honors, not in white, but I had honor
roll. I had cords.
I busted my ass through senior year applying for scholarships and to universities, because I knew I was not going to stay at home or at a community college. No disrespect, but I wanted to get the fuck out of my parents house and Tampa PERIOD. I did all that while smoking. I even applied for stuff while under the influence. Wrote some of the best essays high as hell.
Until this day, I am still smoking and going on to the third year of college.
I moved off campus into my own beautiful apartment
that I have my wonderful art displayed everywhere.
I've had a lot of "Roc Boys", "Addiction", and "Fallin" moments, but I'm still living and doing good enough for being unemployed.
With every rise and fall comes "Sucess".
Every time I fall, I suceed my way to the top someway somehow.
I may be broke, but I'm rich in faith and spirit.
I am an American Gangster.